A Public Apology to Our Readers

Written By Adelaide White

Last week, we made y'all a promise.

We promised that, having temporarily set aside our usual literary masterpieces, we would return to the business of producing the kind of groundbreaking, world-class content you all know and love.

And we meant it.

Mostly.

Unfortunately, and we are truly, deeply, devastatingly sorry to report this, we lied.

Completely.

We had every intention of returning to literary excellence.

But we cannot, in good conscience, allow the good people of Texas to go about their lives without knowing about it.

So here we are.

We understand that this is not what we promised. We understand that trust takes years to build and approximately one blog post to destroy.

Alas…

Our No-BS Maintenance Plan

To put it simply: HVAC maintenance should be straightforward AND affordable.

It’s $29 a month. And you get a year-round maintenance plan with two precision tune-ups, a filter, repair discounts, and so much more.

Two Tune-Ups

You get an AC precision tune-up and a heating precision tune-up.

  • One to prepare your system for our unreasonable summers.

  • And one to prepare your heating system for our pathetic winters.

An Actual Filter is Included.

TBH, that subheading kinda said it all, but yes, our plan includes a four-inch filter per system.

Repairs, Discounts, & More

Things break. Parts wear out. Machines move on...

SO we’re giving you 10% off HVAC repairs.

And, and, AND… no after-hours fees.

24-Hour Diagnostic Policy

Ya'll get diagnostic service within 24 hours, or the repair is FREE.

PLUS 5% off full equipment replacement should the day come when replacing more sense than repairing.

In Summary…

We have, in the interest of transparency, prepared a teeny-weeny summary for you. (In Gen Z speak, TL;DR).

The No-BS Maintenance Plan:

  • One AC precision tune-up.

  • One heating precision tune-up.

  • One four-inch filter per system.

  • 10% off HVAC repairs.

  • Free refrigerant with a qualifying repair, subject to exclusions.

  • Diagnostic service within 24 hours, or the repair is free.

  • No after-hours fees.

  • 5% off full equipment replacement.

All for $29 per month or $348 for the full year, paid upfront.

Y’all can add a system for just $19 per month or $228 per year, per additional unit, with all the same benefits.

One Final Apology

We would like to take this opportunity to address the elephant in the room.

We promised you great literature this week.

And we totally recognize the severity of this breach of trust. We recognize the emotional toll this may have taken on our readership.

So please, dear readers, forgive us. We ask only for the chance to prove this was an isolated incident and not the beginning of a long, dark era of HVAC-related propaganda.

In the meantime, if your HVAC system could use a little attention, we'd be happy to help!

And next week?

The greatest blog post ever written.

Adelaide White
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Our No-BS Maintenance Plan