Your HVAC’s Winter Wishlist: A Letter from Your Sassy, Needy Roommate

Dear Human,

We’ve been living together for what… 7 years now? I’ve kept you cozy through scorching summers, freezing winters, and that one time you forgot to change me for, like, ever. Now winter is coming and I have a few requests. Consider this my Winter Wishlist.

1. Clean Filters, Pretty Please

Dusty filters? Seriously? I’ve been working hard all year and I deserve to breathe clean air. Change the filters and we will both be happier. I work efficiently and you get consistent, cozy heat. It’s a win win, friendo.

2. Respect My Vents

Yes, I see the pile of decorations, the laundry basket, and that random pile of shoes shoved on top of me last week. Respect my personal space. I vent when you don’t. Pun absolutely intended.

3. Thermostat Drama? Keep It Consistent

Stop yanking me around like a freakin’ yo-yo. One minute 68°F, the next 78°F. I have limits. Keep the temperature steady.

4. Maintenance, Not Ignorance

A yearly tune-up is not optional. Think of it as a spa day for me. Belts tightened, coils checked, filters cleaned. I will keep your house warm without giving up halfway through December.

5. Quick Fixes Do Not Count as Love

That rattling noise you ignored last month? Not cute. That vent that whistles when you walk by? Still not cute. Just waving the red flag here before I throw a full-on hissy fit, AND I WILL!

Final Words
Follow my wishlist, and I’ll keep your house warm and cozy all winter long. That’s just a fancy shmancy way of saying, take care of me and I’ll take care of you.

Love,
Your HVAC, the roommate you never signed up for but cannot live without